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Acknowledge the Emotions
Acknowledge the Emotions
It’s good to acknowledge emotions
We are so often told to; hold the emotions in, or that emotions are bad, or to just get over it! But, it’s normal and healthy to have each and every one of the emotions we feel. We all have emotions, it’s not bad to feel them, actually the opposite.
It’s essential that we do Feel, Express, Talk about, and most importantly Accept our emotions. It is so important, because what we resist persists.
It's important to let the emotions out, to talk about how you are feeling and what you are thinking. Share them with someone you trust or write them down in a diary.
Try to find the words to describe your feelings... “When I moved school, I felt sad, worried, scared, lonely...”
Ask your mum, dad, sister, brother, cousin, auntie, uncle, grandmother, grandfather or friend, to share how they feel, or felt when they were your age, or had a similar challenge. They will be able to relate to your situation. Let them tell you their story, “I remember when I went to my first soccer game, I felt... and I was thinking that…”
The good news is that these BIG feelings, these uncomfortable feelings will go away. They are like visitors, they come and spend some time, but then they leave.
My girls have just gone through a big change, both of them started at a new school, one in year 3 and one in year 5. Even though we talked about it lots, did things to feel comfortable and prepared, and it really felt like we were ok with how things might go, we still had struggles and challenges. It really is a BIG change and it takes time to work through a shift like this.
Things that have helped us
The girls talking through their thoughts and feelings with me, and each other
Organising playdates with ‘new school friends’
Knowing that it’s ok to be sad and miss seeing their ‘old school friends’, it will get better
Organising play dates with some of their ‘old school friends’, so they feel that their not missing out so much
Letting them know that it takes time to adjust and get used to change, it's normal to be feeling these emotions
Sharing with them how I felt at school and university
Keeping something familiar and comfortable, like sport with old school friends. And starting something new, like dance with new school friends
The Positive Penguins App is great.
Positive Penguins is a resilience-building app for kids (and adults on a tough day). It’s designed as a self-guided process to learn about feelings, as well as techniques to change negative feelings into positive ones.
This Managing Your Anger Poster can be really helpful.
I found this poster from Creative Therapy Associates so helpful when sitting with my girls once they had calmed down. It helped us to talk through what emotions might have been sitting behind their anger.