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Acknowledge the Emotions
Acknowledge the Emotions
It’s incredibly helpful and effective to acknowledge emotions
We are so often told to; hold the emotions in, or that emotions are bad, or to just get over it! But, it’s normal and healthy to have each and every one of the emotions we feel. We all have emotions, it’s not bad to feel them, actually the opposite.
It’s essential that we do Feel, Express, Talk about, and most importantly Accept our emotions. It is so important, because what we resist persists.
Ask them what they are feeling and thinking
Share with your children, that feelings are ok. It's important to let the emotions out, to talk about how they are feeling, and the thoughts they are having that are causing the emotions. Give them the Words to help them describe their feelings, “If I moved school, I might be feeling sad, worried, lonely...”
Relate to their feelings with your own story
“I remember when I went to my first soccer game, I felt... and I was thinking that…”
Reassure them that these BIG feelings, WILL go away
These big and uncomfortable feelings, are like visitors, they come and spend some time, but then they leave. Let them know you will work it out Together, and help them say out loud what the big feelings are.
Focus on their ‘Behaviour’
If there are issues, remember to focus on their behaviour (not on them personally). It’s ok for them to have and express their feelings, but bad behaviour is not ok. It’s important to set clear boundaries around what is ok and what's not.
A parents' job is to be controlled and calm (much easier said than done some days), so that they feel safe, when their emotions are making them feel out of control.
HELPFUL RESOURCES
The Positive Penguins App is great.
Positive Penguins is a resilience-building app for children (and adults on a tough day). It’s designed as a self-guided process to learn about feelings, as well as techniques to shift negative feelings into more positive ones.
This Managing Your Anger Poster can be really helpful.
I found this poster from Creative Therapy Associates so helpful when sitting with my girls once they had calmed down. It helped us to talk through what emotions might have been sitting behind their anger.